Loony Left: The Guardian's dictator role-play fantasy

The week's madness courtesy of The Guardian and Iran, Siobhan Benita, the UN and Robert Mugabe, Professor Philippe Bourgois, Ben White, and Pastor Curtis Knapp

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"Ties are for gays"
Missing
The Humph
On 1 June 2012 10:13

1. THE GUARDIAN GETS KINKY WITH SOME ROLE-PLAY 

Three parts to this crazy tale.

First of all, Iran is refreshing its crack-down on ties. Yes, ties; as in those harmless lengths of material that men (and Diane Keaton) wear around their neck for an extra touch of sartorial elegance.

Since 1979, the Islamic state has regarded the neck tie as a symbol of Western culture and it has decided to get a little more serious in enforcing the views of its religious leaders.

No need to be too concerned for your Iranian brethren though – the other kind of neck tie, i.e. the noose, is still permitted.

Now, for part two of the story – how has the Guardian’s comment page taken the news? Well, not too disparagingly as it happens:

Okay, that’s pretty nuts. If it was any other paper you might see it as harmless fun. But, with it being the Guardian, you know they're getting their rocks off on this role-play fantasy. You can almost hear Polly Toynbee flexing the whip...I'll stop there.

Let's skip to part three instead: the response.

There were a number of tongue-in-cheek quips offered: Simon Cowell, Coldplay, the Hijab (nicely done).

But my favourite, from someone who you wouldn’t fancy to be much fun at a dinner party, was this:

Brilliant. 

2. SIOBHAN BENITA: "GOVE OUT OF TOUCH"

The revisionist in me is starting to resent my softer side for having thought that Siobhan Benita didn’t come across too badly throughout the recent London Mayoral campaign.

Obviously, upon hindsight, her main asset was simply not being Ken Livingstone.

Offering her thoughts on the Leveson inquiry to her 6,000 Twitter followers on Tuesday, Benita grieved for the Yoot of today who are forced to soldier on under the watchful eye of an Education Secretary who is, well, educated...

OMG#Gove has just quoted Latin at Leveson.I find it depressing that he is in charge of our education system.Way too out of touch.

Errr, yeah…Michael Gove, you toffee-nosed boffin!

I hear he also does long division without a calculator – the flashy git.

3. MUGABE WATCH

Ever get the feeling that the UN’s existence is one big, eye-wateringly expensive, practical joke? As if, notwithstanding his death, Jeremy Beadle is going to reveal himself at any moment and shove a microphone in your bewildered face? “Gotcha! You thought this incompetent, toothless ogre was for real, didn’t you?!

Sometimes I do wonder. 

Never more so than this week when Robert Mugabe was made a United Nations international tourism ambassador.

I imagine Siobhan Benita's response would be along the lines of "OMG, WTF?"

I would probably have to agree with her.

NEXT PAGE FOR YET MORE ADOLESCENT BRAINWASHING, SOME BEN WHITE JEW-BASHING AND A 'LOONY RIGHT' DEBUT...

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