4. KIRCHNER VS CAMERON

That Kirchner lass is a right wind up merchant, is she not? In what appeared to be a scene straight out of comedy sketch show, Balls of Steel, a make-up-caked Kirchner confronted our very own David Cameron at the G20 summit in Mexico this week with a giant envelope marked: "Cuestión MALVINAS".

The cheek of it. 

Cameron's face duly looked as though someone were offering him a jar of baby sick. But what I'd really like to have seen is him whip out an over-sized invoice in an envelope marked: "PAY YOUR DEBTS, MUCHACHA."

Still, at least they all got a nice little holiday in Mexico.

5. GREENPEACE VS FINANCE RIO+20

Talking of convenient summit locations, Rio+20 has been taking place this week.

Isn't it funny how (environ)mentalists never seem to hold their shindigs in Swindon or Bognor Regis?

“Oh we would, but it’s just that those places are a bit shit and Rio is much nicer” – wouldn’t that be a refreshing and honest response?

Regardless of the setting there was a lot of disappointment emanating from the Copacobana's sun loungers as environmentalists were beginning to dub the summit a complete failure before it even got under way -- apparently the mint leaves used in the mojitos were shredded, not bruised.

Just kidding. Something about the draft agreement containing almost no decisive timetables or agreements is what was really getting under their skin. Let's wait and see what their verdict is at the close of play.

That said, neither a dodgy mojito nor a lack of binding agreements was going to stop Greenpeace in its tracks with the NGO announcing this week that it is ready to launch war on the financial sector. Scary.

"We have been investing a lot of effort over the past couple of years to understand the industry and where the leverage points are and I think we are close to this point and finance institutions should be put on notice that not only Greenpeace but others are going to be putting them under much greater scrutiny.

"Our aim is to get all banks to say we won't make loans to oil, coal, gas and deforestation-related activity. We want to shut off the flow of capital. The time is right because the banks are at their most vulnerable in terms of public legitimacy."

So said Kumi Naidoo, executive director of Greenpeace, as reported in the Guardian.

Just to be sure I'm hearing this right, Greenpeace has spent the past couple of years getting to understand an industry which matters stupendously to the day to day lives of the world population and its current problems, so that they can bring it to its knees in preparation for problems which may or may not occur in a few hundred years or so?

Brilliant. Take a bow, chaps. Take a bow.

6. THE ROOF, THE ROOF, THE ROOF IS ON FIRE...GET UNDER IT, QUICK!

The eurozone is burning. Literally in some cases. And Labour MEP Mary Honeyball wants us to dabble in a spot of self-immolation by JOINING the currency, presumably like a rabble of  Buddhist monks.

“The UK has once again failed to join the European project at the right time… if a country is not there at the start they stand to miss out on crucial decisions. The Eurozone seems to be going in the direction of some kind of banking union. This will obviously have an effect on the City of London. Being outside whatever kind of union emerges may well prove problematic for our financial services industry.”

Having become something of a dab hand at deciphering amorphous lefty linguistics, I can confirm to you that what she is saying, in a roundabout way, is "the rest of Europe is set to drive itself off a cliff in a massive bus. This may effect the City of London. Therefore, rather than fighting the good fight from the side of the road, we ought to join them on the bus so that we can have a say in what's on the radio as we take the plunge."

7. AND FINALLY...

Another hat tip to Guido for this one. To be frank, you don't need my clumsy commentary to accompany. Just watch radical lefty Francis Gilbert loose his cool in a debate with Toby Young, and enjoy...

Dane Vallejo is Associate Editor of The Commentator. Follow him on Twitter @DaneVallejo