Dear Ed...

With tensions rising between the two Eds, an unlikely email exchange explains a thing or two...

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"My office; now."
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Adrian Moss
On 28 August 2012 15:04

To: edballs@********

Dear Ed,

I think we should perhaps organise a brief meeting to discuss the most recent economic indicators with a view to presenting a unified message come the conference season.

Send my best to Yvette.

Ed (Leader). Milliband.

 

To: leader@********

Dear Ed,

Thanks for your recent note. I have all the detail I need for the conference season thank you. To tell you the truth there’s more than I can handle; the problem is knowing which juicy bullets to load the gun with.

Are you back from Tuscany or wherever it was then?

Ed.

PS Yvette very busy with some big document, but nodded. (More than I get).

To: edballs@********

Dear Ed,

I think I may have confused you. I’d like you to pop in so we can discuss the economy and to develop our message to brief the press with, and with which to lead in the Economic debate at conference.

Tuesday is good for me. I’m free all day. Getting a bit bored to be honest.

(It was Greece actually and very illuminating. I’m convinced they should borrow and massively increase state spending. And I found out I’m not terribly fond of Retsina).

Ed (Leader). Milliband.

 

To: leader@********

Dear Ed,

Once I’ve finalised our economic message for conference I’ll let you know. I did make a start on Saturday but Norwich were playing at home so I’ve only got as far as the Introduction.

Leave it with me sunshine. You’ll hear the detail on the Today programme in the next 10 days or so.

No worries. Now be a sport and find something to do.

Ed.

 

To: edballs@********

Ed,

I was somewhat surprised by both the tone and detail of your last email. The last time I looked I was the leader of the Labour Party. I’d like you to come in. So we can talk.

Tomorrow at 0900 would be convenient.

Ed (Leader). Milliband.

 

To: leader@********

Ed,

Sorry. Day off tomorrow. Polishing footy boots and then lunching with Damian.

Ed.

 

To: edballs@********

Listen here Balls you bloody maniac. Anymore briefings like that one in the Guardian this morning and heads will roll. Are you genetically insane? I know about your tricks, I know the score. I remember how it all works you know.

Don’t forget I WAS THERE. I SAW EVERYTHING.

 

To: leader@********

Dear Leader.

Bite me.

Balls.

Adrian Moss is a Contributing Editor to The Commentator and a screenwriter

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