Welcome to your future: The nightmare before Christmas

As Ronald Reagan once stated, "Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction"

Wake up!
Robert Phillips
On 13 December 2012 16:58

Darkness falls silently as the cold December night takes its hold. The streetlights flicker as driving rain passes in front of their dim sulphurous glow. Your eyes grow tired from the hard day at work and gently meander until close. You have unknowingly slipped into a deep sleep.

Beware however, for tonight is no normal night. This night is different.

An insidious dream that has long lurked in the depths of your mind has finally stirred. It has been waiting patiently, nonchalantly for the right time to deliver its sentence of panic and ruin. This is my fiction, your nightmare, and perhaps one day the truth?

Welcome, to May 7th 2016.                                

Ed Miliband’s Cabinet is celebrating its first full year in Downing Street over a lunch of warm pretzels and pot roasted Venison, a welcome gift from the newly formed European Democratic Republic (EDR).

Ed Balls, the Chancellor, has finally received permission from the European Finance Committee in Frankfurt to action the emergency budget he had submitted the month previous. Europe is once again in crisis and more money needs to be raised to support the federalist dream. This means more taxation for the rich and a creeping change in the very definition of that word. Being rich is now defined as those earning above £40,000 per year. It is going to be a tough sell, but he has faith in his teams’ abilities to spin a story. It has worked before, especially in the Labour heartlands, so it’ll no doubt work again.

Chukka Umunna, the latest in an already long line of Home Secretary’s and a key Miliband rival in the Politburo raises his glass of Cristal and toasts to the next four years. His eyes glisten as he thinks about his own future and the inevitable downfall of the incumbent leader. He is a man with a plan.

“Comrade, there were days when I thought it would never happen”, recounts Ed Miliband as he breaks a smile and greets Vincent Cable, the leader of the Liberal Democrats and Deputy Prime Minister who is speedily shuffling into the room to gorge himself on the luxurious bounty.

Cable had replaced Lord Clegg of Hallam immediately after the last election and was the key architect of the rainbow coalition agreement. Nick was a loyal friend of his, but had also proved a useful fall guy and now the two Ed’s along with the Marxist Professor have bold plans for the economy, for Britain, and for you.

First up on the agenda are annual Mansion and Expat taxes along with the 75 percent top rate Income Tax. “We vilified and subdued the City of London; we have neutered the Tory press; our voters will accept the need for further taxes”, argues Balls. He remembers well the trepidation he felt before his announcement of Britain’s intention to join the EDR and the new EuroMark currency despite popular opinion within the country being against it. He was nervous for no reason however as the middle classes shouted a little, but with the BBC and European propaganda units on-side they were drowned out by overwhelming political consensus and a now timid and often distracted press.

Things however have started stirring again in the Home Counties. The people are beginning to see that their long-held personal freedoms and economic liberty has been stolen away from them by bureaucrats, career politicians, and faceless officials. It started with the response to terrorist threats and never really stopped.

The Chancellor has no fear about matching Frances 75 percent tax plan though as he has the backing of EDR. The Rotherham by-election in 2012 had opened his eyes to just how much Labour could get away with by playing up to political tribalism and class warfare. Rotherham is a Labour town. Has been for 80 years and will be in another 80 too.

“We still need to be careful how we handle this in the media”, says Tom Watson who had again increased the Television Tax by 25 percent in order to fund the never ending litigation against the BBC and earlier that year implemented further fundamental changes to freedom of speech and Internet access laws.

“Make it sound like we are getting a good deal”, stated a figure emerging out of the shadows. “What use is a security council seat to us anyway?” Baron Mandelson cries as strokes his wispy moustache. “We have a seat with the EDR, we do not need another one... and since we all fight under the Flag of Europe now we haven’t actually lost anything”.

“It’s true, but I was thinking more about us announcing the move of the capital from Brussels to Berlin” replied Watson as he reached out to grab another French truffle. “We know we can count on the BBC to tow the line. Ed, if you can talk to Flanders... she has always had a soft spot for you.”

Yvette Cooper, the Secretary of State for Education looks agitated. Her husband reaches over and reassuringly pats her hand, stuttering as he quietly whispers that the bespectacled Watson was talking about the other Ed and not about him.

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