EU Remain campaign says household pets could die in event of Brexit

Citing the example of Greenland, where dogs and cats were wiped out by a virus after leaving the EEC, the EU Remain campaign has issued a new, dire warning about the consequences of Brexit

by The Liar on 20 April 2016 06:50

The EU Remain campaign has issued a stark warning that millions of household pets could die if Britons vote to leave the European Union in the June 23 referendum, potentially leaving a generation of traumatised children unable to forgive their parents' decision in favour of Brexit.

A Remain spokesperson said domesticated animals were currently covered by EU veterinary regulations which have successfully protected pets from the spread of a lethal virus which has had devastating consequences in many non-EU countries.

"When Greenland left the EEC in 1985, veterinary regulations went with all the other protections that Europe provides," the Remain spokesperson said. "The fearus maximus virus spread like wildfire. The puppies and kittens were the first to go. Within six months all the dogs and cats were dead."

Fearus maximus affects domesticated animals' brains by inducing nightmares about a future in the wild without the disciplined environment provided by their masters.

The nightmares are so intense that the brain essentially closes down, taking all other bodily functions with it.

Following Greenland's exit from Europe, children routinely came downstairs in the morning to find the pet dog in a state of rigor mortis, lying on its back with all four paws pointing straight at the ceiling.

"That was over 30 years ago, " the Remain spokesperson said. "But very few of the now grown up children have forgiven their parents, and many are not on speaking terms with them. Much the same could be expected to happen in Britain," he added, warning of a future for Britain without domestic pets or normal relations between parents and children in the event of Brexit.

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